Shawshank Scribblings

I had almost abondoned blogging. So had I with fullhyd. But I started blogging somewhere else again earlier in August this year, after about 2 years . That blog is very general in character.

I wish to start writing the same old stuff that i used to in 2005-06. & very casually I googled this blog & felt happy to find it too. I read a couple of my old posts and felt like writing here again. But, do iIremember my username & password? Surprisingly after two attempts, I seem to be successful. My memory seems to be in good condition.

I had made an attempt to start writing here once in 2007 too but could not hang on to it. So in all its true sense, this is my second comeback.But the new feel & look of this site makes me want to write here. Hope this attempt doesn`t loose its vigour any sooner.

I have to mention here, a very important role that this site has played in my life. Back in 2005 when I was blogging here, I used to have a regular visitor to my posts. She used to like my writing very much. We exchanged emails, bought each others coffees, vodkas and then one day exchanged vows.

Such is the might & glory of this website & this blog. Lemme see if I can return to my innocent musings  here again. !!!

I am sure that there is no thing as " good ones are taken". There are great people out there and our friends need to just relax and not try hard to be in a relationship just because the society has decided that a relationship defines us. Every person we meet may not be the lady in red or the knight in shining armor. But if it is approached as getting to know someone and then allowing it to grow into something more, you would find a constant supply of new and interesting potential mates in the world.

One long sabbath it was, wasn`t it. On popular demand, I am cuming back.With more to share, more to learn, more to write.

This note might not interest people who do not live by rules. I do not live by rules either. But for this something or that another we all have certain rules which we would not want to break. Like Carrie always has a rule that she will not sleep with any guy on her first date with him. Betty has certain rules about men and so does Lamina. Chris never wanted to be involved with any girl physically until he was sure that he is going to marry her. That was his rule. All of us have some rules, some of us know them and some know them only subconsciously.

All is fine now. But sure as many of us have rules, that many of us have broken them at some point or another. Do we break them on purpose or are we cornered by our deluges to break them? Going by things that have been happening of late, looks like there is an eternal paradox and a terminal curse to mankind. That whether ourselves or due to certain series of occurring which some of us call fate, we keep breaking our rules as if it’s a vindictive sigh of our human nature.  Some broken rules make lives forever and some stay like a nova - a star that suddenly becomes bright for a short time.

Frank had a rule too. He did not want to get involved with a woman unless

a)      she was from his community &

b)      she is younger to him. Not necessarily in the same rank.

His rule was simple. He had seen enough of love marriages and even more enough of hues and cries at home with almost none of his cousins marrying the conventional way. He did not want to hurt his parents later. That’s all! So those were Frank’s rules.

In a world close by, totally unconnected to that of Frank’s, was a beautiful girl leading a life of “single successful woman”. She was nubile with sexuality and nuclear with brains. In her late twenties, she was all a man could ask, beauty, brains and body. She had grown up normally, in love with one guy for sufficiently long time who got engaged elsewhere later leaving her with lot of memories and a broken heart. Enter Jasmine. She believes that god is always laughing when you are making plans.

She had learnt lessons the hard way. She always ponders as to why should we go through so much misery in life to learn about it? And what is the point if by the time we have learnt about it; we can no longer use the experience. And since she was normal Jasmine had rules too; No married men, no men seeing some woman, and no younger men.

Now take the plunge. Some one decided to put all the eggs in the same basket and so Jasmine and Frank become net pals. I mean internet friends. They liked each others as persons. They realized that each was a potential “Friend”. They kept exchanging mails like they had exchanged their cities. Geographically distant. And one fine day the lady comes home to Frank’s city. They decided to meet and they met for coffee.

A lot can happen over coffee and a lot dint happen that day. But what did happen was that they both decided that they would definitely like to see each other again. They exchanged their chat ids. From day next, they chat for hours together, premonitions of a potential relationship. Frank figured out her smartness and Jasmine liked his creativity. Next weekend Frank had a trip planned to Jasmine’s city.

They went out. They danced. They kissed. And they broke their rules. Frank knew that Jasmine was not from his community and Jasmine knew that Frank is a couple of years younger to her. They jettisoned their rules lock, stock and barrel. Sometimes broken rules and serendipity walk hand in hand.

They started talking over the phone for   continuous hours. He traveled to her city the next weekend again. They spent the weekend together in a trance. It was probably another parallel universe they had been transferred to for a while. They did not have to talk anything. They understood each other needing nothing to say. It’s growing. She would be seeing him this weekend in his city.

They have ceased to live in boundaries and have taken on a path of which they have no clue as to what awaits them in this journey. Frank and Jasmine have consciously decided not to think of tomorrow and live each day as it comes and to its fullest. Some things are too large, too deep ever to be truly understood or measured or limited within the framework of words. I realize a broken rule is one of them.

Hey apologies all.Due to certain personal issues I had to withdraw the heartbreak hotel post.I value all your comments. Thanks  for your continous reading.

Lots of exciting things cuming up.

Smitty is extra curious if I am Gay. She is my one-week young brand new friend I have made.

“Why are you so curious?” I asked her.

“Its just that I believe that 40% of men are gays, another 40% swing both ways and only 20% are straight. And I have been longing to have a friend in that first 40% for a while” replied Smitty.Did I disappoint her by being straight?

Many straight women now count a gay male as their best friend. How many of them are inspired by television sitcoms. Do they want a gay male friend because Carrie has Stanford, or Will and Grace are picture perfect or almost all of them want to be the next Bridget Jones. What are the dynamics that can make these powerful partnerships? Does the average homophile girl care? May be it’s that she thinks that there's not the jealousy or competitiveness there can be with a fellow female, and not even a remote possibility of friendship-destroying sexual tension as with a straight man. So gay men are great fashion accessories and make the perfect issue-free friends... or do they?

It's that gay man--straight woman bond that's become a pop-culture standard in the 25 years since it was pioneered in popular fiction by Armistead Maupin in his Tales of the City novels. The world has come a long way since then.

I asked Betty if she had any close gay pals and if she would relate to a gay male friend like she could do to a female friend. Betty had crossed paths with a couple of gay men who were damn handsome but she could do nothing beyond appreciation, as they were gays. With her little association with such men, she said, “probably!” She felt that they could probably be good pals and discuss their fears and insecurities about men they were interested in. They could be really great gal pals and confidantes. Besides they could always stand in for a cancelled date, the way Stanford was always there for Carrie.

Now, the next big thing for me to ponder on is if a woman’s relationship with a gay man were as simple as we see it on media or can it be as complex and emotional as with a lover. The issue and its consequences make note of things that the jovial gay best friendship does not attempt to find out. But lot many of them in reality do not seem to be affected by such an issue with many straight females looking at gay men as novelty.

All is well till you secretly start desiring your gay friend. The only thing that ll come out of this is that it ll make the boy friends jealous as hell. So at the end, the women loose out both the men. How many women would be comfortable drawing lines in relationships? Because if they stray here, there would be a mess who no one can clean.

Today is culture of expression freedom. The gay man/straight woman relationship has certainly evolved more than what it was 25 years ago as pictured by Maupin. It is a convenient marketing ploy and a humour dope sometimes. But it’s important to hold on to your real gay friends and the realities of your relationships. If your best gay pal is more than just a fashion accessory, then be prepared for a camel ride. While he can provide you with a unique insight into that elusive male psyche, and with his sexual omniscience, offer a sutra of handy hints, it's certainly not all shopping and show tunes. Gay, straight or bisexual, people are people. Can we base ‘making friendships’ on sexuality? Can we move outside the stereotype premise of making friends because we appreciate the other person?

Being single can be a wonderfully fun and option-filled lifestyle. And my today’s option is to write about this contagious girl Betty. And on this assignment I would like to thank the oxford dictionary of synonyms for supplying me with all those piles of adjectives that I dint use in this note for the fear of doing injustice to Betty in words.

There are two fascinating qualities that can enter into lives of those Betty is around: love and addiction. When you are with Betty, you can feel the energy in the air. My friend Chris thinks that she can put the dead to partying. In a rational, left-brain dominated culture such as ours, Betty is the most dangerous combination of a friend and a girl.

My first impressions of Betty were totally different from what I know of her as a person today. Those days I did not know her and thought she is those hep chicks who are haughty and nose high. Not that she gave such an impression but the people she was around definitely made me think so. And then one day she asked me to share the music on my machine with her. That was from when I started getting to know her.

Betty made the ordinary running errands or eating lunch at canteen, for example, extraordinarily fun. She is crazy and always has something to talk. That’s the best thing. There is no strain to make up conversations when you are with Betty. She can always, I mean, always make you smile. Whether we were hanging out at a mall, sitting in a park, dining out, or partying, a mere glance from her could slay me. She and I had more in common than humor, however. Torn relationships to be precise. We had countless conversations at all hours of the day and night about everything from music to life. She comes around as girl who carries a sensible head over her neck, which is a rare phenomenon with that specie. Just kidding!!

Though I have not been with her forever, but I still know her mood swings. She is as nasty as anyone could get when she gets so. Her comments can make you feel immolate yourself and if you are not those kinds, you ll at least try strangling her. I have watched her soar and she has seen me fail. It sometimes feels good to have a friend who knows you more than you do yourselves.

 I have always thought that she always knows what she wants in her life. But no, she is a totally different person when she is in a relationship with a romantic drape. She looses all her senses and starts behaving like a kiddo. She gets worked up soon. She is a romantic and dreams of a romantic life .If she likes him, tha`s it. She could sell ice at the poles for him. An attention freak, a not very harmful but yet an unpleasant thing about her is that she takes her guy’s impudence to ignore her as a personal offence. Frequently she is afraid of analyzing her female mistakes, because deep inside her soul she’s scared to find out a number one female mistake – she has chosen the wrong man. Getting indecisive or confused is so common for her in a relationship.

She is a mixed bag. A serious career girl when she is working and yet a college student when the guy of her interest suddenly comes up to her and says something nice to her. She will spit all her anger the moment he says those magical things and get cozy. She has been through all that she wouldn’t have wanted to be in - Accidents, surgeries, relationships, break-ups, strained attachment with parents. I know of times when she has felt an outsider in her own life, finding her place in the world and coming to terms with her sexuality.  Yet she emerges out a strong individual after every catastrophe as if to challenge life that she can dare it.

In the biblical creation story the Creator, having formed the first person, immediately declared our social character: "It is not good that man should be alone." Most of us, most of the time, would rather be with anyone than be alone. And when we compare being with anyone to being with a friend as Betty, there is no comparison. The reasons are endless.

I suddenly seem to wake up to the fact that most of my friends are either getting married or involved enough with someone to get married soon .A sudden call from an old friend of mine yesterday put me in total frenzy. This guy works in Mumbai. On the face of planet earth, I would presume that he would be the last guy who would get into marriage and love and all that so soon. He is one of those who would rather fall in bed than in love. And how soon? “Next week”. He barely gave me time to ask him why it dint work out with his earlier girlfriend .He has convinced me that women folk have some super powers and men are loosing control over the world.

I call up Andy to announce that Justin is marrying next week and he reciprocated by announcing the marriage date of another friend of ours from our earlier work. Damn! What’s wrong with the world? He also tells me that this Friday he has to go see a girl for himself that his mom chose. He is soon going to be an outlaw for me.

Looks like marriage has suddenly become sine qua non or to say it in English - an indispensable thing .My opinion of marriage is that it is an ineffable thing. It is a big risk. It has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. Can’t love come a little cheaper? It’s precisely the reason why I have consciously been away from relationships. They all have to end up in marriage. Why the hell do all roads have to lead to Rome? Why can’t some lead to Paris?

I am not against marriage but I am never sure of it either. Lisa Hoffman said Marriage is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important. All of my friends have decided to marry and by all means. They know they are going to end up either being happy men or philosophers. Justin would soon be dragging the shopping cart in a grocery store with his wife ahead of him buying weeklies and dailies. He wont be able to date other women, unless of course he can dare to tell his wife that they had not spoken of it before marriage. The good news is that sex graduates to lovemaking and the only mystery in the honeymoon will be if the hotel accepts the Citibank card.

Pooh and Vicks are getting wed locked in June this year. Betty is almost certain about who she is going to marry. (Though she is being put through all the jazz of arranged trysts). A close friend of mine here at work – Craig wants to quit this place and go to middle east soon so that he can earn enough to afford marriage early next year.  Either every one is suddenly succumbing to the fatal attraction of marriage or I have not checked my age after I was 22. Is it time for me too?

This whole thing is so contagious. Being single in today’s world is suddenly looking very challenging in a number of ways. On a material level, I am all of a sudden finding it   difficult to be solely responsible for my existence, and to find the time to keep up with everything in life. But it tastes even more challenging socially and emotionally given the frenetic pace and impersonal tone of our technology-dominated culture. In any given day, we may have more electronic contacts than human ones. And while email, voice mail and telephones are wonderful tools, they don’t address the heart’s deeper yearning for authentic human connection.

Hamm…. but here must be other singles like me in opposite sex too. Where are all of them. Looks like there are no ‘quality singles’ out there, that ‘all the good ones are taken’ and that everything in our culture is geared for couples. All the good partners end up in committed relationships while they’re young and are never again available. How is it that Justin always certainly found a girl to date and I end up single again? The annual dose of romance - the valentine`s day is coming soon and I better check my options before I am a senior citizen.

“And long distance begins”, flashed the SMS on Betty’s phone. Roy landed in Melbourne. It always happened with Betty. She liked someone and that someone would enter into “long distance” mode with her. Be it her dear friend Frank or be it her boy friend Roy. Probably distance has an affinity with Betty. She wrote the longest mail she had ever written, to Roy, for him to read when he lands in Australia, and she wrote it even before he got onto the flight that would take him there. “Crazy”  - things people do in love and for love. Frank was wondering what was the craziest thing he had ever done when he was with Pooh.

Betty was experiencing the “being in love”. She was seeing the world in the different way - when all others and things look brighter, birds sing louder, life shows itself in it’s completeness. She knew the reason for the euphoria, trembling knees, heart beating; temperature rises, loosing breath and mind at one time. She even felt a change in the smell of her body. People need some dopes in their lives, just to continue living. And Betty and Roy were each other’s dope. Love happened like a thing.

But there is a specialty about “things”! They happen when they dun have to and they never happen when they have to. And that is the paradox of love. Love is always happiness even when it’s unhappy. This morning Betty came back from Pondycherry from an “all girl” trip with her best friends Tara and Ruby and updated them with Roy. Back home and she walked straight into her room for a shower. Her mom came out of the kitchen and was very happy to see her. She had been eagerly waiting to give Betty some news.

“Betty!” she gave an affectionate call.

“Ya Mom”

“I am so happy for you. Saturday, I met MrsRao at a party and we stumbled upon your marriage issue. She said she knew a very good family and sent me the prospect. She did the needful to the boy’s family too. They liked you. And I liked the guy for you too. Theirs is a grand family from Nellore and the boy is…” and on and on and on rattled Betty’s mom, the nicest things she got to know of the guy.

“Aren’t you happy beta?” asked her mom walking back into the kitchen. Clichéd, Betty was lost for words. Dumbstruck and left back alone in the room in the company of a sea of thoughts, Betty’s eyes rolled out salt and like never before. There’s both nothing better and nothing worse than being in love. Betty was realising.

Fast love was graduating. Lots of things were happening at the same time. Long distance love, parents seeking boys for her, unclear future.

“Oh my God! What do I do now?” Betty and Frank were chatting the next morning. “ I am supposed to go and see this guy.”

“Did you speak to Roy of this?”

“Yes”

“And what did he say?”

“He took it very easy and asked me to go see the guy and then reject him.”

“You know you can’t do that.”

“Yes, but what do I tell my parents. I just hope this guy turns out to be sad.” Frank could sense the franticness in Betty’s voice.

“Have you guys spoken about marriage?” he asked her.

“No”

“So why dun you speak to him point blank?”

“Frank, it’s only been a fortnight. If a girl spoke to you about marriage just after 15 days, won’t that freak you out? Rome wasn’t built in a day and marriage can’t be thought about in just 15 days” was Betty

“Sweetheart, you want to get married, don’t you. What is the point in going on with no clarity in the relationship?’ questioned Frank.

“We have spoken about it, though not in clear words. It might take a year at least for him to get back. Bah! I am so dazed and confused. Only a fortnight back, all I wanted were my parents to look for a nice guy for me. And seeing what was in store for me, I feel someone is playing a joke with me” replied Betty.

“If you are not in the idea of marrying anyone else as of now, then all you can do for now is just go see that guy and reject him” Frank suggested.

“That’s the plan!”

“But you can’t get into the habit of rejecting guys till you get clarity in your relationship. If he likes you and you like him, it’s never too early to talk marriage, IF, marriage is all you want at the end of it. And I am damn sure it is all that you want.”

“I am so scared. I know that marriage is all that I want and if he asked me I wouldn’t take a jiffy to say YES. But I understand that it is different for men. They have other priorities”

“Hmmmm, just go with an open mind and see this guy for now” said Frank.

“Hmmm” sighed Betty.

The “things” keep coming back - They happen when they dun have to and they never happen when they have to. Should we fight or should we resign that probably that was how they were meant to be.

Frank hoped that Betty has FINALLY found someone and not found someone again. His name was Roy. He was Betty’s New Year gift.

This New Year Betty was planning to just stay home with some dear friends and do a simple Thing. Watch TV. Little did she know that when she dint want to do ANYTHING this 31/12 night that itself was a “THING”. She was tired of the partying circuit in Hyderabad and the same old faces she ran into. “They are all so snooty and artificial”, she once told Frank. She dint want to go there and give them the regular grin.

So all was set. Betty was going to stay home with her close friend Tara. But then, as has to happen with all expectations and excitements, she was told the last moment that they couldn’t do that and they had to join some friends at one of those page three parties, which she wasn’t new to. She was pissed. Totally. She had dumped an invitation to Goa to be at home with Tara.

But she went. She put on her best dress and dragged herself to the party. She plunged herself into the night. The place was as usual to the brim with the rich and the beautiful. A hug here and a peck on the cheek with another. The DJ was churning popular and foot tapping music. The dance floor was tub-thumping. But Betty had a pouted face and an irritated mood all through. She kept cursing Tara. At least till eleven, when she thought the best way to get rid of this is to gulp some vodka.

She reached for vodka and at the bar saw this luminous guy who she had seen quite long time back. At a common friend’s place. But she cared for his criminally handsome looks only for a moment. For now she was right in her mind to swallow the vodka. She wasn’t a regular drinker. She isn’t a drinker at all rather. But was it the vodka or just coincidence, she started bumping into people she had not met for years that day. Like the aroma of high quality vodka she started liking it. More Vodka.

On and off on the dance floor she got glimpses of that swashbuckler guy she saw at the bar. She tried recollecting when she had seen him last. She wanted to dance with him. But did not ask him. It seemed to her that he was trying to hit on the girl he was dancing with. 

Although, when you are in good mood, it looks like the right things are happening at the right time and alcohol has this amazing knack of letting people shed their ego. The clock struck midnight. The ball dropped for the New Year and here was our lady walking up straight to the handsome prince with a glass of Absolute in her hand, “I just have to give you a hug. HAPPY NEW YEAR”, she said to him.

He was only glad to give her one and wished her return. There was a strong instinctive attraction between the two. She came back and felt a bit foolish and tried to get some food. An hour later, the night was still young and the knight came over to ask Betty if she would care for a dance with him. What was more!

Before they realised how they liked each other, it was breakfast time. All friends drive down to the club for the New Year ritual buffet breakfast. His name was Roy. He was Betty’s friend’s roomie in Melbourne. He was kickingly good-looking, liked her and was two months elder to her. Betty just was loosing it to him. They both had an amazing set of friends who sensed that something was up between the two. Sadly he had to leave for Australia the next evening. Betty couldn’t stop cursing her luck with men.

He called her up the next morning and asked her out for coffee before he left that evening. And eight rounds of coffee later, Roy tried to postpone his ticket to Australia. His parents were surprised. But Betty was high – not on vodka but on Roy. Falling in love is the most natural and the least harmless kind of doping. They had spent just a few hours together and they felt like they knew each other for years then. They now want every single day to last forever. He was the kind of man she could let herself be weak with. She told Frank that he is an awesome man, actually, a nasty jerk J.

He finally got his ticket postponed for 15 days later and Betty and Roy have been spending all the time in the world together; dinners, movies, holding hands, long drives. She says she might be getting married to him. They haven’t spoken about this at their homes yet. But Betty lived two years in two days that she met him. Now she tells Frank that she feels like a heroine of one of those “Mills and Boons”. Love like this happens only there.

It `s all going very fast. But how fast is fast? May be its time Betty can afford fast love. Frank just hoped that if these two crazy people were really good for each other it must just end with a second pair of slippers by their beds and one more toothbrush in the bathroom.

The history of man as I feel is a cauldron of audacities,cowardice,wisdom, foolishness, righteousness, greed of a few handfuls of people. Some known some unknown. The history of this planet since the time Adam ate the apple has been a function of power. The need of power. The right to power. The survival of the powerful. These handful of mortals made it sure that this is the only cause for all that is around us.

God knows what India would be like if vasco had not discovered it for the west.Indians probably wouldn`t have been oppressed by the British.I wonder what kind of life  the barman in cuba would  be leading if that country wasn`t taken up my Fidel castro.The  serb farmer would probably have grown wheat instead of mines if it weren`t for  Slobodan Milosevic and his Yougaslavian National Army.Che Guvera was killed else argentina wouldn`t have been a thrid world country.If Min ho wasn`t influenced by Marx, China would probably be the biggest super power long long back.But for Hitler, we wouldn`t know about two towns in Japan – Hiroshima & Nagasaki.Be it Sadaam , Khatoumi or Mussolini. The world is what today because a few handful were inhuman at some point of time and the rest of the world was busy making breakfast and reading the newspaper.

The lust for power has driven people to make history, decide fates of countries and that of this Earth.Man wants power over woman, white man wants power over black man, the catholic over the jew, the serb over the bosnian, the tutsi tribe over Huttu (Rwanda),the hindu over the muslim, the jew over the arab. All of them are busy “Cleansing”. This has been going on for eternity. And the sad part is that insipte of every community going through the trauma of ethnic terrorism, they remain calm when the similar happens to another. How can world community be so inhuman to the itself? There is no one to fight for human life…forget right. We have seen that UN is only an empty shell with lot of air.

Genocides in the name of “Cleansing” are the cruelest form of human existence. But for Sex, this world would have got cleansed all together even before Bible was being contemplated.

India has been through a partition, Lebanon through Yom Kippur, Bosnia through the Sarajevo siege, Kuwait through the Gulf war, Palestine through Israel, Germany through anti-Semitism, Russia through division, US through apartheid, Africa through tribal civil wars. Any and every country’s modern history is no different than the older history. Man would probably never get tired of his lust for power.

Power play of international politics and the handful that play it decide today if we will eat bread tomorrow or a bowl of rice. Sadly we remain ignorant spectators while a guy whose life we would have never disturbed is writing our destiny in front of us.

Pooh: hey

Pooh: around fora bit?

Frank: all around!

Pooh: ok

Pooh: Joseph was here for interview

Frank: k

Pooh: said u r a good frnd?

Pooh: what is 'k'

Pooh: am asking u

Frank: ya

Frank: k is short for OK

Pooh: i know that

Pooh: i meant is he really a good frnd

Pooh: as he said he was

Frank: he is a friend

Pooh: ok!

Pooh: is he good to hire?

Frank: yes ofcourse

Frank: he is smart

Pooh: ok...

Frank: but i do not vouch for that on a prfessional count!I know him in person and he is a good chap.

Pooh: will catch u again in a bit, the next candidate is here.....

Pooh: ok, thats good enough.......

Pooh: u around for 1/2 hr? will be back..

Frank : go ahead

Pooh: am back!

Frank: ohio ghozimus

Pooh: whats that now

Frank: ha ha ha! japenese for hello!

Pooh: hmmm

Pooh: u scare me with new terms all the time

Pooh: english itself i dont know what u speak

Pooh: and u talk other languages too

Pooh: anywayz.......how u doin???

Frank: freezing!

Pooh: ayyo...why

Pooh: btw Sandy  called me on sat

Frank  : cause my new workstaion is right in front of the AC duc!

Pooh: the way he asked me abt my marriage i felt he already knew the answers

Frank: k

Pooh: but anyways, i still told him.....

Pooh: he said he took my no. from u......

Frank: he did,

Pooh: hmmm

Frank: he is one of the fewe monks who don`t sell thier Ferraries.

Pooh: i didnt read that book so pls to translate

Frank: the books is abt this lawyer who due to aspiritual crisis confronts the conditions of his life and then embarks on a journey in search of purpose and peace

Frank  : anyways..i meant abt sandy in a diff way.

Pooh: bit busy.....gimme a few mins

Frank: time was never mine..you can take all that you want.

Pooh: what else yaar! how ARE u?

Pooh: I still get worried sometimes

Pooh: when I think of u.....

Frank: does the capilaised "ARe" have any connotation?

Pooh: hmmm

Pooh: emphasis

Pooh: how do u REALLY feel...is what i meant

Pooh: btw

Pooh: if u hate my asking u such questions so often

Pooh: i wont do it

Frank: its ok

Pooh: coz its probably a path that i dont have right to tread on

Pooh: i am kind of scared to ask u also sometimes

Pooh: but care too much @ it to let go

Pooh: i just want to know that u are fine.....

Pooh: and somehow dont get that feeling sometimes

Pooh: maybe if u tell me emphatically enuf

Pooh: i'll stop bugging.....

Frank: alright..let me tell you ....... it is difficult.

Frank: Life is one damn thing after another and we cant stop to think aout everything but love isnt that way!

Frank: if you know what i mean.....you love only once...i loved then and you love now.

Pooh: yes. its hard....

Pooh: but I want u to be strong...to come out strong

Pooh: and to not be sad.

Pooh: i know it might seem like its very easy to say.

Pooh: but there is so much to life, so many challenges, joys and sorrows

Frank: yes there is

Frank: there is lot more to life

Pooh: if not this, it might have been sthg else for u....

Pooh: and u must emerge a strong individual

Pooh: success is different to different people

Pooh: and u are very individualistic now, with very strong opinions

Frank: tha s the sad part

Pooh: but u must live a full life and live it happily

Pooh: and happiness too cannot be urs alone

Pooh : everyone around u(at least the close ones) shld share ur happiness

Frank: it would neevr be complete for me!

Pooh: It will Frank. If you let it.

Pooh: And you must. Eventually.

Pooh :: I know that your feelings were very very strong and that you have been through hell.

Pooh: But when life made you go through so much, it will give you back good too....

Frank: give me what?

Frank: a foreign language

Pooh: Let the good things also happen to you. Be good and do good....

Pooh: didnt get that.....

Frank: never mind

Pooh: Please yaar.

Pooh: Why dont you want to give yourself another chance.

Pooh: You will be happy, you can achieve a lot in life.....

Frank: cause there isnt another!

Pooh :: There is, there always will be.

Pooh: You got to see them...you got to be open

Pooh: Do you think its nice to live this life in sorrow?

Frank: not after an unbroken succession of false situations

Pooh: come on yaar...

Pooh: pls....

Pooh: dont be so disillusioned with life...

Pooh : you are still young and way long ahead to go

Frank: I have lived half my life and the third act of the play looks badly written.

Pooh: Why Frank? Why Why Why

Pooh: there are things under your control also

Pooh: everything isnt written up there

Frank: nothing is written up there!

Frank: i wrote the third act miserably

Pooh:

Pooh: i dont know what to say yaar

Pooh : maybe i need to pray

Frank: NOOOOOOO

Frank: neither wish for miracles nor make prayers..you know they dont work for me!

Pooh: Ok. But you need to get out of this depression

Pooh: it CANT go on forever

Frank : you dont have to

Pooh: u have to look FORWARD to life

Pooh: infinite possibilities exist in this world

Pooh: u cant hang on to one thing and let ur life stop there

Frank: i have not stopped from trying to do more in life.

Frank: it onlly that i cant feel complete with anything! so all my trials are towards being "almost complete"

Frank: i read, i write, i travel, i trek, i swim, i workout, i eat, i party, i work, i do all that a normal guy of my age does.

Frank: just that i do all of them without the vowels in them!

Pooh: ok...

Pooh: Dont know what else to say

Pooh: Except that pls open your mind

Pooh: try harder

Pooh: I want you to be happy

Frank: you cant be concerned abt me for long!

Pooh: I know...

Pooh: its not right to do that

Pooh: which is why I feel sometime

Pooh: s

Pooh: that I'd be much happier to know you are doing fine

Frank: andi want you not to get into this issue ever again!

Pooh: I dont get that feeling at all now...

Pooh:  ok

Frank: what feeling

Frank: anyways..this colleague of mine is waiting for me to join him for a fag. take care!chao!

Pooh: ok...

Pooh: take care yaar. pls.....

Pooh: Take Care!!!

Suppose you're in a car wreck. You need another car, but instead of taking the next month researching makes, models, and prices, you rush out to the used car lot and pick out the first car you see. That`s rebound. But in turns out to be a damn nice car anyway, that’s love.

Is rebound love a good thing? And what’s the best ways to handle the strong urges you may have to be with someone new after a breakup? May be we can learn something from what happened to our friends or people around us.

Sophie and Karan were from the same office. Karan was this very ambitious MBA graduate but slightly conservative or possessive should I say. Karan and Sophie like many other couples started as good friends at work. Only before Karan felt that there is some chemistry between the two and let Sophie know that they should probably try to know what it is. Sophie, a perfect example of mixture of tradition and hep couture’s, was willing to give it a try.

Sophie was slightly forwadish for Karan but they hit it off and all was going well till Karan started nudging her for being close with Deep. Sophie couldn’t convince Karan that Deep is her best friend and “only a friend”. They used to have debates with no results. And slowly this love hate relationship graduated to mental trauma for Sophie. When we love we are used not to see the flaws of our partner or not to show that we see them. If fact those flaws mean very little when there’s love in the relationships. But when it’s gone all those unpleasant details in the character, appearance or behavior start to annoy us tremendously especially because they have become so obvious after a long period of not noticing them. That’s when men start pointing on the defaults of their women in the most rude and unpleasant way. And so did it happen with Sophie and Karan. He seemed to love and to care but also he kept telling those unpleasant things again and again.

Sophie thought it’s better to leave because any relationships are supposed to bring care and attention but not permanent criticism and discomfort. She did try to stay, swallow her pride, watch her self-confidence fading away, feeling  miserable and etc. But she asked herself is that really what she wanted? And through all this melodrama, Deep was the lending shoulder for Sophie. He was there all the time like a true friend. She used to come and cry to him. She felt at peace after welling it all out with him. He took care of her. And elsewhere, Karan was sulking to misery. So I realised that Karan is single today because he was too possessive in the relationship. To corroborate, I have Chris`s story, which I will belt out on some other day.

A breakup of a serious intimate relationship can be a very difficult experience, and is often accompanied by feelings of confusion, sadness, anxiety, sleeplessness, appetite loss (or binge eating), and generally feeling off-balance. Feelings of self-worth may be low. Sophie started questioning her attractiveness and desirability for future relationships. She felt emotionally raw, vulnerable and needy at times. She felt lonely and missed the affection and sensual gratification of Karan.

Deep was a very tempting way to cope with this unpleasant state and she literally fell into his arms when he asked for her. If someone else will catch us, hold us, and tell us what we most want to hear and feel: that we`re okay, we`re worthwhile, we`re attractive, we`re desirable, and we`re lovable, life becomes a joyous spontaneous encounter with the present moment.

And thus, after six months of breakup with Karan on a ten-month relationship, Sophie started seeing Deep. Karan left for Delhi when he got a job with a multinational there. And for the other person, here Deep, who has rescued someone (Sophie) from their pain, and who is connecting with someone in an extreme state of openness and vulnerability, they may feel that they have finally found their soul mate: someone who listens, is open, is willing to share their feelings, is deep, authentic and spontaneous, and who seems different than anyone they’ve ever met. Which all sounds well and good except for one thing: one or both people are usually getting set up to get really hurt.

And how…..we will know soon!!

If you have an opinion about rebound love...leave it here!!!